Learn what "had so much" means, when people say it, and how to use it naturally in English.

It means the speaker chose a simpler or less stressful path, even if it was not ideal.
From Do Not Deceive Me, Episode 22
The speaker explains that keeping things hidden felt easier than dealing with everything openly.
Use this to justify a choice after the fact. It can sound defensive or like an excuse if the other person thinks you avoided the real issue.
Scenes unlock real expressions as you watch
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